The journey begins - the Women In Business Club - ISB, CO2012

A quick routine, a careless smother of jelly on a partially toasted slice of bread, and an unbeaten hastily-stirred evening coffee, shoved down the throat, and off she is for another busy evening! Wait! Is it a Monday or a Thursday, a Friday or a Sunday? Does it even matter? There’s so many places to go to and not enough time in the world – LRC, classes, speaker session, tutorials, alum-on-campus sessions, peer-leaning sessions, event launches, CAS office, administrative lost-and-found department, and the list goes on and on.

But, this time she was off for a special cause – the ice-breaker event for the Women in Business Club, CO2012. She was striding fast to the Lecture Theater to meet the two accomplished women on campus. She had been looking forward to it all day. She had heard so much about them, and was keen on drawing inspiration to make it big in life. She got there just in time to find a seat in the front row, exchanged a smile with one of the speakers from a distance, and settled in.

The first speaker was Ms. Savita Mahajan, who was currently serving as the Deputy Dean and CEO of ISB’s Mohali campus. She completed her MBA in 1981 from IIM-Ahmedabad and got married to an IIM batch-mate. She has over 30 years of work experience with organizations like GE Capital, the Planning Commission of India, the World Bank, and the Tibetan government in exile of the Dalai Lama. She has two children – a son and a daughter, who are both studying away from home. This gives her the mobility and flexibility her current job calls for.

Ms. Mahajan started by gauging which stage in life each of the WIB members was at – single, married, motherhood. She, then, expressed how vital it is, as a working woman and a mother, to have a supporting husband - something she’s been extremely lucky about. She went on to share some lessons she has learnt by looking at her life in hindsight. The most important ones being:
• Let go of the desire to excel at everything, and prove capabilities to self and others
• Acknowledge changes in trade-offs at different stages in life
• Decide trade-offs based on what’s acceptable to you
• Be at peace with yourself
• Don’t negotiate less at work because you’re a woman – know your strengths
• Be persistent at work – express your expectations well. In other words, make no assumptions, that people around you would understand

The next speaker was Ms. Jayanti Rajgopalan, who has 13 years of experience, working in sales and marketing in organizations like Titan and Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, before she founded her theme-based travel tours venture “Detours” in Hyderabad in 2008. Ms. Rajgopalan completed her MBA from XLRI, Jamshedpur in 1995.

Ms. Rajgopalan started off by pointing out that some jobs suit women better than men, for the simple reason that women draw feelings from the world around them. But, she also mentioned a caveat – often times, the world assumes a woman’s assertion to be aggression. She mentioned that successful women are still seen as an exception, and we all need to change that perception over the coming years.

Ms. Rajgopalan also shared a few lessons she has learnt by drawing experiences from her own life, as well as, the lives of women around her. The most important ones being:
• Never let your confidence drop because of criticism
• Follow your natural instinct
• Deal with internal pressure first
• Let go of the fear of being judged
• Don’t just get caught in your ideas – execute them
• Stop making excuses for not doing things you want to do, and do them already
• Be prepared for handling physical danger, if your job calls for it; but, don’t let it stop you

What a fruitful day it turned out to be! After all, who wouldn’t be inspired by these two influential women, and who wouldn’t want to learn from their life experiences. But, some things we all learn from our own mistakes. Off she goes, smiling out on the way home from the speaker session to make her own mistakes in life – determined, yet aware of the hurdles life might have to offer, but nonetheless, ready to fight them all.

DMOPed

In the last 5 weeks, I have decided whether Tina should apply for an internship in Meena's firm, whether Tina should take her friend to lunch to get insider information on her chances of getting the internship, whether Carol would loose her job if she follows strategy A, whether Tata Nano was a disruptive innovation, whether ZS Associates should add more people to its sales force, whether Barco should have taken Sony's challenge seriously, whether US Feds should have meddled in Thailand's real-estate crisis, whether Spain should decrease its goverment's expenditure, whether India's RBI should revise the repo rate, whether Seema should buy a new scooter on every birthday, whether the art gallery should hold a second price auction, whether Husky should have continued being a niche player, whether Microsoft should have launched XBox, whether the gambler would walk randomly, whether Sonites are a better investment than Vodites, whether to be a first mover, and the like. Guess they're right when they say life is short!

I feel a bit wiser after 2 grueling terms at the Indian School of Business, which reminds me of my dad. He always says to me "You are a wise head on young shoulders". [He might wanna rephrase that though - it's been quite a while since I've been young in his eyes :)] But, boy did I know, there's so much more to be done to acquire another worldly form of wisdom.

There were some other decisions to be made as well, but they were mere mortal issues in front of the ones above. Here's a few: whether sleep an extra 30 minutes or read the pile of papers next to the pillow on weekends, whether skip breakfast or pick up breakfast on the way to class, whether take a shower or be late to class (our little secret! Shh...), whether brush teeth at night or get 10 minutes of extra slumber, whether conduct the study group meeting late at night when half of us are asleep or conduct it in the morning when the other half of us are asleep. Piece of cake! Life inadvertently found the answers. You read through the pile of papers next to the pillow on the weekend, but got your picture posted on facebook for sleeping in class on Monday, you skipped breakfast and forgot your wallet at home while going to class, you skipped shower and got to class late, you did not brush you teeth at night, but you watched "Two and a half men" for 40 minutes before dozing off, you conducted study group meetings at '08 party lounge with a beer in hand and feet on the dance floor (bet everyone was awake then till 6 am).

Good or bad - we all make choices. And we learn to live with them, just like I am learning to live with a choice I made last year to come here :) I am going to kill me one day for doing this to me! Until then, I remain DMOPed.

The stings of loneliness

An empty house with empty rooms
Cannot but blossom into a home

A gloomy morning, an omnipresent lull
This is not where happiness dwells

A lonely night lonelier than ever
Another futile effort to search for slumber

A hungry stomach that yearns the bite
Of glee, all else won't go down right

A wasted heart that loneliness stings
A wait for the smile the loved one brings

If I die young

Dedicated to my love!

One of our favorite songs ...

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

Tomorrow's the beginning of the rest of my life

Funny how life takes U-turns and drives you back to the place you were two years ago. Here I am working on a short-term project with the same team I worked with two years ago. And it feels like nothing has changed, well, except me. They are still struggling to stay awake on late nights to finish off their tasks, they are still missing out on so many new ideas to be thunk had they got any time to ponder, they are still surviving life instead of living it. And, I am, once again, inspired to write. I can still recall how I was sitting and writing another poem in the same bus and the same seat after leaving late from work following a series of late-nights. Of course, it's not all inspired by them. I've been listening to Pink Floyd all week at work :)


Yawns afloat, ideas drowned; a little fidget, a little filth.
Morning knocks at the door of the factory of myth.

The feisty tamers bash their cane.
Captives gear up for another day too mundane.

I peep into the castle with dreary eyes.
Soon as I enter, Faustus' soul won't suffice.

A furnace of free-will, a cauldron of hopes.
The key to the shackles, every lonesome hand gropes.

Make me laugh, make me cry.
Clip my wings, while I yearn to fly.

Don't stop, shoot darts before I can blink!
Walk me by the dump of reason, it stinks.

Stifle my spirit, while my lungs gasp.
No air to breathe, no belief to clasp.

Sit back and smile, I'll keep up the strife.
Tomorrow's the beginning of the rest of my life.


And here's the poem I wrote two years ago:
Maze

Reference: In the world of fiction, Christopher Marlowe's character Doctor Faustus sold his soul to the devil in exchange for power and knowledge

I am I, because you are you

It took a personality development session titled "Adventure in attitude" to make me realize how, sometimes, so many people are similar under the surface. Somebody has the same fears that you do, somebody has the same passions that you do. If we care to look beneath the surface, some things can weave most of us into a single piece of cloth. These things could be habits, likes, dislikes, feelings, situations. The list is unending.

It was during this training session, that towards the end, we were discussing assertion, and were asked to write a passage after reflecting on the line "I am I, because you are you". Finding myself at loss for words for a passage, I resorted to my usual way of expression - poetry. Here's what I came up with ...

I am your friend, I am your foe
When you watch my back, or plant thorns under my toe.

I am all ears, if you'd listen too.
Because I am I, and you are you.


I'd reason with you till the rise of dawn,
when the daemons of prejudice take your wisdom for pawn.

I'd take your whips, if I'm untrue.
Because I am I, and you are you.

I'd honor your thoughts, I'd honor your ways.
When you let me be, the sanity stays.

A bridge only makes sense, if it has sides two.
Because I am I, and you are you.

I'd trust you without doubt in blindfolds.
Once I'm sure you and I are connected souls.

Don't ask for more than respect in lieu.
Because I am I, and you are you.

Clamor

Yesterday if somebody asked me to classify noise, typically I would try to classify it based on different criteria: one being the source (e.g. human, machinery, nature - birds, water, etc.); another being quantitative attributes I can recall from my limited knowledge of physics (e.g. amplitude, frequency, etc.). But not anymore!

Today I learned there's only two kinds of noises: inside noise and outside noise. Outside noise is the noise that surrounds you; it originates from the world external to you. Inside noise is the one that comes from within you (well, not literally!). I would, any day, prefer outside noise to inside noise. Because, I know how to shut myself off from the outside noise, but I am still struggling to shut myself off from inside noise.

My mind has somewhat a multi-threaded architecture (pardon the software jargon). And it seems to have Professor Dumbledore's pensieve (hope the non-followers of Harry Potter won't mind this reference), where all my memories and thoughts seem to be stored away as threads. At any point of time, I might have more than one of these threads running continuously, hogging my brain (the CPU). There might, often, be context-switching based on thread-prioritization. Say, when I'm at work, I might be thinking about code, but the minute I'd step out alone for lunch, it'd switch to another thread (that might have been high-priority the night before).

At times I wish there were a room where I'd be able to shut the inside noise off as well by a mere jolt to the door. However, now that I've come to think of it, it might encourage me to confine myself to that room for longer and yet longer periods at a stretch. So, I guess I need to continue the hunt for the key to tranquility inside of me, so one day the whole world would be my room, and I could find my peace even in a deafeningly noisy lab.