An interesting after-thought to the theory of elimination

One of my friends had an interesting after-thought to the previous blog titled "Theory of elimination". The human psyche is inclined towards comparing things. Enter the theory of relativity. According to him, it's about thinking things could have been worse when you feel like being at the bottom of the pit. That imbibes a new sense of courage and momentum in you to handle what's at hand, so that you reach a point where you finally see the so called "Silver Lining". This is how you turn the zeroes into ones, which in itself might be a process involving fractions, instead of a straight jump from o to 1.

Theory of elimination

Two of my friends used to say life is binary ... there's just ones and zeroes in it. But wouldn't that mean if one's not happy, then one's sad. Everything is always either good or bad. On the contrary, maybe there's worst, worse, good, better, best. Maybe, there are gradients. Infact, there are deltas. Things move from worst to best over time. Actually, perspective dances it way down this slider.

If one starts to search the "betters" and "bests" in , they are not all that hard to find. One learns from everything that happens. And learning makes us better equipped to live life. There is nothing that we should/need not know. There's never enough learnt. So, in that sense, we are always growing.

Things might seem to be on the darker side of this slider initially, but over time, they turn out to be better/best. Although, one takes time to find the silver lining. And the faster one finds the silver lining, the more fun life is. Its like a game and games are fun. And the better one gets at it, the more one enjoys it. And somehow if I'm not able to find the silver lining, I tell myself "Picture abhi baaki hai ;P (the movie's not over yet)".

I still remember, as a kid, I used to play this game "Who's dunnit", which I had won from Nestle. It was about four detectives trying to find a stolen treasure hidden in one of the seven wonders of the world, with the help of hints given through cards throughout the game. The detective who found the treasure first was the winner.

I feel I am one of those detectives. I may not win over life every time; I might not be the first to discover that lesson which life is hinting at, but sooner (rather than later) I find my treasure.

And if I don't know what I'm looking for, the game can become a bit twisted, but all the more thrilling. In that case, I try to let time guide me. Time yields a clarity, which nothing else ever can. By themselves, quite a handful of options get stream-lined, and in the end, you are left with only two options.

Now if one observes closely, the pattern on which these choices are based is almost always the same. One is what we should (could) do and the other is what we should not (could not) do. I shall, hereby, like to stress upon the parenthesization. When I say, should (could) / should not (could not), I am talking of passion coupled with pragmatism. Passion tells me the "should", and pragmatism tells me the "could". For others, it might be the other way round. But I think from the heart first, so this is the case for me.

Well, maybe, here my friends were right. Life just became binary. Go on , take your pick. And another one of mathematical theories applied to life here is the theory of elimination. Well, living life is, thus, an intriguing game. However, learning this game takes time and practise.

Flock of birds

Today, I saw a flock of birds meandering its way through the sky, sweeping clean of the treetops very neatly. But, not once, did any of them disperse from the flock.

It's funny how the most intelligent species on earth has unlearned nature's lessons over years. However, nature still finds it own funny ways to teach us.

First come, first serve

It used to be an amateur dream of every pair of teenage eyes once upon a time to find "the" soulmate, fall in love and live happily ever after. However, if you come to think of it, it seems nothing more than a fairy tale today, when sometimes people use relationships as "hops", as one of my friends calls it. I don't beileve in the concept of so-called soulmates. I think you can get along with a number of people, some of them might be a lot like you, while others might be in complete contrast. A few of these can be people you really click with. It's not that you can fall in love with only one of these in all your life. It's just a matter of who you met first.

So, in my opinion, there's no such thing as soulmates, it's rather a sheer matter of chance. Another one of life's concepts you can easily map to the principles of computer science, it's a FCFS (First-Come-First-Serve) queueing algorithm.

My Best Friend's Wedding

Jan 12, 2008

Sitting all the way in the back, I could see him looking straight into his bride's eyes. He was looking his best in the black tuxedo, and nothing would match the serenity of the ceremony, the flowing white silk of the bride's dress, the beauty behind the white veil. Nobody could be better made for each other than these two.

The total silence surrounding the verses being read out from the Bible by the pastor brought you yet closer to realizing that you were in the presence of real and pure love .. something that makes you realize a wedding is not just a party, it is a union of two lives, two individuals, two souls.

The wedding vows were made next, followed by the most beautiful pair of words "I do". Everybody around was asked to bless the couple after being asked for affirmation about the union. I would have felt at a loss of words, were I asked to put their wishes for the couple in words. The wedding bands were exchanged after that.

While my friend then raised her veil, all of us sang prayers from the Church prayer books (I doubt if they call'em that). Neither did I know the music for them, nor could I read the music notes written on top, so I pretty much just read along, while the choir took care of the singing.

Next the pastor gave out a few pearls of wisdom to the newly weds, and told how he had known my friend ever since he was a kid.

At last, the newly-wed couple offerred a prayer together and walked out of the church into their new life hand-in-hand, beaming with happiness.

Empathy

Here's something that challenged what I always believed empathy meant (read this phrase on the internet a few days ago):

"Empathy is not defined as feeling the same as another (that's codependency), but rather the ability to hear what another is saying and to tell them that you heard."

And I always thought of it the way the dictionary presented it to me:

"Empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner."

Well, the first phrase is probably the correct interpretation, because if you come to think of it, even if you've been there, done that, you can still only re-feel what you felt in your time, but you can never actually feel what the other person is feeling right now.

The company of me ...

Life in the fast lane (as is described by many) is quite typical of metros today. Your year is not made up of your cousin's wedding, or your parent's 30th wedding anniversary, or your niece's first birthday ... it is made up of weekdays and weekends (including those 10 stupid company holidays you get in a year and your 12 casual leaves, half of which usually go waste for most people, as they are too busy to use them). Sometimes you are so busy walking, you tend to forget what you started walking towards.

Nonetheless, it doesn't take much to reclaim it all. Ever taken a walk alone in the park, ever shopped (or window-shopped) alone, ever had a cafe-latte' with yourself, ever listened to your favorite music while penning your thoughts in a busy upbeat coffee-place, ever read your favorite book in your favorite hang-out place, ever played silently with a kid sitting across 2 tables away at a busy restaurant while sitting alone, try it ... might just work for you! Does for me ;)